Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this. This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

YOU MUST READ THIS OUT LOUD!

ROOM SERVICE: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."

GUEST: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

ROOM SERVICE: "Rye. Ruin sorbees. Morny! Jewish to odor sunteen??"

GUEST: "Uh, yes, I'd like some bacon and eggs."

ROOM SERVICE: "Ow July den?"

GUEST: "What??"

ROOM SERVICE: "Ow July den — fly, boyd, pooch?"

GUEST: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."

ROOM SERVICE: "Ow July dee baychem — crease?"

GUEST: "Crisp will be fine"

ROOM SERVICE: "Hokay. An San toes?"

GUEST: "What?"

ROOM SERVICE: "San toes. July San toes?"

GUEST: "I don't think so"

ROOM SERVICE: "No? Judo one toes??"

GUEST: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

ROOM SERVICE: "Toes! Toes! Why jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"

GUEST: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

ROOM SERVICE: "We bother?"

GUEST: "No, just put the bother on the side."

ROOM SERVICE: "Wad?"

GUEST: "I mean butter — just put it on the side."

ROOM SERVICE: "Copy?"

GUEST: "Sorry?"

ROOM SERVICE: "Copy . . . tea . . . mill?"

GUEST: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

ROOM SERVICE: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy . . . rye??"

GUEST: "Whatever you say."

ROOM SERVICE: "Tendjewberrymud."

GUEST: "You're welcome."

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